Monday, February 25, 2019

You're Home

 I sit here and weep for my loss, for I loved you so much. You showed me the way of a righteous woman and instructed me how to walk in it.

 My heart says you are gone far too soon, for I long for your wise counsel and loving touch. I miss you...

You listened to me, not to answer me in a profound way  but to hear me, to hear my heart rather than my words.

We laughed together and cried together as we shared our joys and sorrows.

 You taught me what it means to be a faithful wife to your husband so that when God brings me to that season I can do likewise for my beloved.

You led by example by forgiving others even when you were the one who had been wronged in a major way. You chose to forgive anyway.

 You lived your life with joy even in the worst of affliction. You showed me that joy is a choice we make everyday when we get out of bed.

You knew you were dying, we spoke of it freely. You rejoiced at seeing our LORD's face while at the same time you grieved for your Joe, your sons, daughters-in-law, your precious grandchildren, and your adopted ones who you loved so dearly. You wanted to live for there sake but your body was ravished and worn out with sickness and disease, you needed rest.

God saw... He took you home to glory...

And so I rejoice in my sorrow; I rejoice in your life and in your death. You lived with courage and faced death with joy.

You can't hear me speak these lengthy words or see this beautiful rose I brought to your grave.It is cold and lonely so unlike your life which was rich, warm, and vibrant. I wasn't here for you death so I felt the need to to speak and to remember so I can mourn you and heal from my loss.

 I loved you...

 Now I miss you Mama Karen... (Karen Sue Weber)

 "Death leaves a heartache only God can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

My Father Speaks

 Dawn breaks through the darkened rain clouds. The sun reflecting raindrops dripping from soggy leaves.

 My Father, the Holy One of Heaven whispers: "my child, the apple of my eye, I love you and will strengthen you today."

 Oh Holy Father, I bow in your presence. I am overwhelmed and unworthy.

 "My child, take my hand and rise! Do not shirk away from my presence in fear and shame. My blood has removed all your stains. Rise! Stand boldly! My Spirit lives within you!"

 You have cleansed me from all unrighteousness; I take your hand my King, and I rise!

 "Come my daughter, let me hold you, you are frail and vulnerable. Rest in my arms, close your eyes and breath in the heavenly beauty which emanates from my presence."  

 Oh Father, hold me tight, give me strength and courage to live in your presence.

 "Go now my child, I am with you always..."

Friday, June 22, 2018

For Love Always Hopes

“Do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.” Corrie Ten Boom

Monday, June 4, 2018

Proper Start = Better Day

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:25-26

Sometimes I have to stop in the middle of the day and restart it right. 

"But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds."
Psalm 73:28

Friday, May 25, 2018

Jesus; You're Beautiful

I see your face in every sunrise,

The colors of the morning are inside your eyes.
The world awakens in the light of the day,
I look up to the sky and say;
You're beautiful.

I see your power in the moonlit night,
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright.
We are amazed in the light of the stars,
It's all proclaiming who you are;
You're beautiful.

I see you there hanging on a tree,
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me.
Now you are sitting on your heavenly throne,
Soon we will be coming home;
You're beautiful.

When we arrive at eternity's shore,
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more.
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring,
Your bride will come together and we'll sing;
You're beautiful.

I see your face, you're beautiful,
You're beautiful, you're beautiful.

I see your face, you're beautiful,
You're beautiful, you're beautiful.

All that you are is beautiful,
So beautiful, you're beautiful.

All that you are is beautiful,
You're beautiful, you're beautiful.

Shane and Shane

Sunday, December 3, 2017

As I Journey Onward

Two years ago when I came to the States I was at a point where I was felt very strongly that God was preparing me for something different. I had been the main medical person (Dr./Nurse) in Krinkrin and the surrounding villages for 2 ½ years.
 During those years I had been building a relationship with the Ministry of Health of Nicaragua and advocating for a nurse to come to Krinkrin to work at the abandoned clinic that is there.
 So after 2 ½ years they sent me a nurse and now I could step back and be a go between from the Doctors in Waspam, the Nurse, and community leaders. Having the nurse come was one of the greatest blessings for me because, now my time was much more free and also, the government sent medicine, so that took a lot of stress off the ministry financially.
 I had something happen to me personally right at that time and it really took a toll on me and I felt like I needed a break to get away and think things over for a bit. After discussing it with my Dad and one of my mentors I decided that I would come back to the States for 2 months to rest.
 It was a much needed break and it helped me see things from a fresh perspective. It was during this time that I really felt God prompting me that he was preparing me for something different. I talked it over with a few trusted people and several of them advised me to consider Nursing School. I couldn’t really envision myself going to college but after several different people encouraged me to, I checked around at several colleges, considering that God might be leading me to that.
 One thing I decided though was that I was not going to make a decision until I was 100% sure that this was something that God was leading me to. The last thing I wanted to do was spend all the time, money, and effort and be out of step with God.
 I went back to Nicaragua, feeling refreshed and ready to face whatever it was that God was directing me toward.
 During the next 4 months I prayed and waited for an answer and at times I wondered if I was just making too big a deal out of it. I mean other people go off to college all the time and never consider it much. Yet I knew that I didn’t want to make such a life changing decision on my own whims and feelings.
 So I waited.
One day as I was praying, I just knew that God was saying no, not at this time. Not for now.
 I was greatly encouraged to have this word, but, what next. I am a very goal oriented person and when I have nothing to focus on as a goal I feel ineffective and without purpose. Which is not good in so many ways.
 But as the days continued, I tried to focus on what was right in front of me and do the daily things, knowing that God would lead me to whatever he was preparing me for.
 I prayed about it on and off over the next year but didn’t let myself get caught up in it much because I wanted to focus on what God was teaching me at the moment. I set a goal to get to know God better and to work on some things in my life that I needed to overcome and work through.
 One afternoon as I was praying, I got to thinking about some of my friends that I had grown up with. I had such a burden for them. Many had grown up in Godly Christian homes and yet some had just sort of drifted away and became lukewarm, others rebelled and fought against anything that consists of God, and some of them are just kinda there, not sure where God belongs in the whole picture. As I was thinking about it, I began praying that God would have someone reach out and help young people understand what it means to love God and to live for him.
 In that moment God spoke into my heart: You go, I have prepared you and you know the way. Teach them what you have learned.
 I felt dizzy with excitement, this was it; this was what God was calling me to do.
 Then suddenly I came to the realization that I would have to return to the States. My heart fell and I immediately began to explain to God that my mission was in Nicaragua and this is where he had called me. My heart belonged in Nicaragua and that is where I wanted to stay. I had just assumed that I would always live there.
 God spoke it again, and I knew this was what I had been praying for. So I said yes; I am willing.
 My next thing was, I needed my Dads blessing. My Dad has always stood behind me in every big decision I have ever made, but somehow in my mind he was going to tell me that this was not from God and that I was needed right where I was at.
 This was a lie straight from Satan trying to discourage me.
When I presented it to Dad, before I was even done, he began crying and told me that he knew it was from God. I then asked him for his blessing and he gave it to me prayed over me.
 Over the next year I began praying about and preparing to return to the United States, sometimes with excitement other times not so much. I mean, after all, Nicaragua had been home for 6 years. At this point I am more Nica than Gringa. Plus I don’t even know how to live in the States and I’m very out of touch with the culture.
 But time progressed and I returned here on August 30th of this year, full of anticipation for what God has in store for me.
I plan to have 3 month ministry program to disciple and mentor young ladies one on one.
 The first two months, “said” young lady will come live with me at my apartment, 5 days of the week. Our main points of focus will be learning to know God, learning who we are in Christ, learning to hear His voice, and lastly, what we as children of God are called to do.
 The reason I feel that this so important is because 6 years ago when I went to Nicaragua I didn’t really understand what serving God meant. I had to really rough start. I knew who God was, but I didn’t love God and know his voice very well at all. I found security in what I did instead of knowing God and loving Him above all else and letting that be the outflow of everything I did from that point forward.
 I believe that once we as believers really understand who God is, what he has done for us, and where we stand in that picture, we will be unstoppable. But the number one thing is, everything must come from a heart that really and truly loves God. From that point forward things change and we see the world from a different light.
 During the first 2 month we will not only be studying and spending time listening to Gods voice, we will also be connecting with local ministries and outreaches. The reason being is that, I think often times we get in our mind that missions can only be done over seas and in the bush of Africa. But the truth is it is here in our back yards. It is in everyday life around us wherever we are at. Not everyone is called to Africa, but every believer is called to go make disciples. Matthew 28:19:20
 I want the young ladies that I disciple to have places that they can go and connect with and hopefully find a certain gift that God has given them.
 During 3rd month we would go to Nicaragua or another country overseas and spend a whole month serving alongside missionaries and other ministries, helping and serving in whatever area needed.
 We will go without any goals to accomplish because I think often times it is easy to come back and say, “Look what I have done” and miss the whole point of why we are doing what we are doing. So we will go with only one thing before us, to serve in whatever area is most needed. If it will be to walk 3 days through knee deep mud to minister to someone or to just sit and listen and encourage those we are serving with, that is what we will do. I want it to be a learning experience more than anything else.
 I want it to be more than a mission trip, more than something to check off our list, more than being able to say “look what I have done. I want us to transform from the inside out by what God is doing in our lives daily. I want us to learn what true living means and to be able to make the most of every situation and every moment that God has given us on this earth, because we all ask the same question; “Why am I here?” God holds that answer and we need only to ask Him and He will give us His answer. Let’s learn to live that out.
 The final step in this journey will be on our return to the States we will spend a week or so processing and discussing what we have come through and what God taught us each individually during this time.
 From that point I will help them get started on a Bible Study called Experiencing God by: Henry Blackaby, where they really learn put into practice everything that they just learned. I will be there for them when they need someone to help them process things but I want them to be able to stand up and step out and be empowered to live the life that God has called them to.
 I don’t want anyone to feel like I have the answers. I want them to learn that it is God who holds all the answers to their questions and he has made it possible for everyone to hear his voice. Yes, God gives us people to help us work through stuff but it is ultimately God we need to learn to hear.
 My prayer is that young people fall in love with God and find Him to be their fulfillment.
 What I need from you most of all is for you to pray for me. If you would like to be a prayer warrior and come alongside me and pray for me on a regular basis I would love to speak to you individually so that I can get to know you personally. Prayer is what fights our battles most effectively.
 I hope and pray that I will be able to be fully supported so I can focus all my attention to the ministry that God has called me to. My budget for living expenses is $1200.00 a month. That includes everything, including for me to be able to return to Nicaragua 3 or 4 times a year. I have dual residency and Nicaragua requires that I return at least every 4 to 6 month to retain that.
 You can give through New Harmony Church and they will make sure it gets to me. Just make sure you specify that it is for Footprints or Mary in the memo or on the envelope. You can also give online at our ministry website and put Footprint in the memo. (Footprints of Christ will be a branch of Religion to Relationship Ministries to make it easier in the legal aspect of things.)
 Thank you to all who have supported me over the years and continue to do so. May our God richly bless and encourage you. 
Mary Lee

Sunday, July 30, 2017


“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:23-26

As I reflect on the last six years of my life in Nicaragua, I am totally in awe of what God has done in my life.
Never at the age of nineteen, could I have imagined or dreamed the journey God was taking me on. Immature, insecure, and a bit frightened, yet full of a passion and zeal to follow God wherever He led me; I came to Nicaragua.

It is been a journey where all that I clung to and believed in was shaken, sorted, and sifted, to take out all false beliefs/idols in my heart. It is a journey that shook my reality and led me to the rock that is higher than I.

He used it to change the very core of who I thought He was and has helped me see Him in a real and tangible way.

He took all my fanciful ideas and dreams and smashed them before my eyes so He could reveal Himself to me more clearly. He took me deep into His heart, and let me feel His heart-beat for humanity. He let my heart be broken so I could feel the pain He feels when people destroy themselves.

He has helped me know that He IS always with me and that He does take hold of my right hand and guides me with His counsel. The more He teaches me and draws me into Himself, the more I can say that the earth has nothing I desire besides Him, and even though everything else around me may fail, He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

So, as I return to the States, six years later I pray with all of my heart that my life will forever be used for His glory, regardless of where I am at, or what I am doing. Whether in things seen or unseen, may my heart stay so focused and tuned to His that I will only bring glory to His beautiful Name and never my own. May my life story be that which only reflects His character and beauty.

May I never be the same, LORD God, use me for your glory.

“My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul! Awake harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn.
I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.” Psalm 57:7-11

The LORD—he is God! The LORD—he is God! 1 Kings 18:39