Thursday, December 4, 2014

Loving Hurts

“Loving someone doesn’t hurt”, I hear it all the time.

Really?

Then why does my heart have so many scars?

Why is it then that every time I open my heart up and love someone that I end up hurting?

Why is it that every time I love someone enough to accept them into my family, all they do is turn around and stomp my heart into the mud and walk away.

Why has my heart become callused and it longs to never open up and love again?

Why then does the heart that is beating within me throb every time I see a desperately lost adult begging for some hope?

Why do tears fall and my heart squeeze in pain when I see a hungry child dying because it has nothing to eat?

When a teenage girl finds out she is pregnant and drinks poison to kill herself because she has a father that tells her every day that he wishes she was dead. Why does my heart bleed?

Why do I cry when I see a mother give her baby away because she knows it will die of malnutrition if she doesn’t, because the father uses every bit they have on his next drink?

Why does my heart cry from pain within me as I watch a grandmother beat her grandchild with no reason or commonsense because this is all she has ever seen and felt?

Why does my heart scream in pain as I hold a dying baby in my arms watching it helplessly slipping away, powerless to do anything except pray for the grief stricken parents who only one month earlier watched the twin to this one die?

Why? Why? Why?

Because I love…. because I care…. my heart has scars that are permanently there never to be erased… only because I love!!!!

I have thought many times that I will not open my heart again only to have it shattered into a million pieces. Never again will I let it happen that way, “I will be kind and nice but I will not give my heart,” why? because it just hurts too much. It hurts more than anything to have your heart ripped out so carelessly and without thought.

It hurts to see a world of suffering through the eyes of love.

It hurts to love the unlovable, for my heart will be broken again and again.

It hurts to love those I know will only turn around and slap me in the face.

It hurts to open my heart and trust someone only to have it crushed in return.

It hurts my heart to sit and helplessly watch sin ruin someone’s life because they don’t want to turn to God.

It hurts to give my everything for a little girl only to see someone else carelessly destroy what was so carefully built.

How can I continue?

How can I love?

How can I care?

How can I keep stepping forward?

Why do I even care?

What drives me to keep loving when I know my heart will only be broken again and again?

What does it matter anyway?

Then I remember, have I not done the same to Christ Jesus again and again.

 Did he not die for me for no other reason than that he loved me?

Yet I, in my pride and arrogance slap him in the face over and over again as I walk away from his love, when I refuse to listen, when I say careless things to another one of his children.

I break and mistreat the heart of my Holy Savior. The one that came and gave His everything for me, His LIFE.

But God so loved the world (me) that He gave his only begotten Son that whoever (if I) believes in him will have everlasting life. John 3:16

Yet,

He still continues with me,

He still loves me,

He still cares for me,

He still keeps taking me forward,

Why does He even care about me?

What drives Him to keep loving me when I break His heart again and again?

LOVE drives Him!!!!! For “LOVE ALWAYS HOPES”

He LOVES me enough to keep at me, changing me little by little.

He LOVES me enough that He will not quit till I am what he wants in me.

He LOVES me so much that even if I turn my back on him HE WILL NOT give up on me.

He LOVES me so much that regardless how many times I break His heart He will still keep loving me.

He LOVES me so much that He DIED for me!!!!!:

How can I claim to be his child and do any less for those around me?

If He lives in my heart how can I refuse someone love that so desperately needs it?

How can I shut this love up inside myself and act like a greedy child when he put that love in there to be given to the lost and dying world around me?

How can I refuse to love the unlovable when He loved the unlovable me?

How can I in turn not go to a lost and dying world that has never even felt or imagined what love is or might really be?

He is the author of Love, I am His instrument of Love.

He created me to carry His Love to those that are the most dirty an unlovable.

The Love that He has given to me is not given so I can keep it to myself.

He has shown me great love, so that I in turn can show love to the ones He loves.

This is the reason he created me and Loves me.

Yes, my heart will be broken, shattered and crushed till I think that I can love no more.

Yes, my heart will cry and scream as it bleeds in pain.

Yes, I will wonder if I will ever be able to love again with an open heart.

Yes, it will be harder than anything I’ve ever wanted to do.

Yes, I will do it with a willing heart, for if I don’t reach these broken loveless lives no one else will.

How can I do any less?

These are the ones he has given me.

This is His purpose for loving me, to love the unlovable through me.

How can I do any less?


If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
 

 
 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 1 Corinthians 13:1-10


1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love.


BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE…..
THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE…..
THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE….   

Lord help me always love with a love that ALWAYS HOPES.



Mary Lee

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