I Am Completely Loved

When you look at me on the outside I may appear like any normal person, full of life, energy, and a zeal for my God Redeemer. I have served overseas in a third-world country for 5+ years, bringing light to dark undesirable places. I may appear like I have life all figured out, always taking the next step confidently, never looking back, and going forward in ministry, yet……

…I still struggle.

I know, that I know that I know that God chose me and has called me to be right where I am. Yet I lose sight and long to quit at times.

I am completely confident that God will always be faithful, even in situations that look and are dauntingly impossible. Yet I sometimes falter.

I believe with all of my heart that God is and always will be completely enough, even when everything else is taken away. Yet I still desire more.

I know without a shadow of a doubt, God still loves me when the world hates me. Yet I still long for the love and approval of people.

God lifts me up and mends my shattered heart when I am rejected and my heart is broken. Yet I struggle to forgive those that hurt me.

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Why then do I struggle so much when I know that God is always enough, He loves me completely, and is unfailingly faithful?

This is a question that I have kept asking myself over and over.

Then God reminds me, that I am human, I will have human struggles. I will stumble and fall, but I don’t have to be captivated by my failings. I can turn all my failings back to Jesus and just rest in Him, knowing that He has completely and fully paid for my sins and failings at the cross and that I am complete in Him.

Even when I want to quit, He gives me the strength to take the next step.

Even when I falter in my faith, He says, just focus on me my daughter.

Even when I desire more earthly pleasures, He displays to me that He is enough.

Even when I long for the approval of people, He looks me in the eyes and says, I approve of you.

Even when I long to be loved by people, He doesn’t accuse me.

Even when I fail, He reaches down and picks me up.

Even when I struggle to forgive, He turns my eyes toward Calvary.

Even when I am tempted and fall into sin, (albeit He will rebuke me) He still loves me.

Even when I don’t get everything done I needed to during my day, He stills whispers, it is enough my child. Well done.

Even when I am unloving toward Him, He still reaches out and wraps me in His arms.

Even when I may not pray enough, He is still Omnipresent.

Even when I can’t focus on my devotions, He still is Truth.

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He remains the same today, yesterday and always, I can never do anything to change that. He will not change because of anything I do or don’t do.

After all it is all about Him; not me and what I can “do” for Him.

 I only need to stay my eyes on Jesus and everything else will flow from that. It is not about me trying to be better, do more and fail less. It is about staying focused on Jesus. When my eyes are focused on Jesus everything else will fade into the background. It won’t matter whether or not people approve, because Jesus’ opinion is the only opinion that really matters anyway.

 Not matter what I do, will do or don’t do I am completely and fully loved. He is love and I am loved by Him.